Before having a baby, my life was pretty easy. In fact, last year while sitting with a few other women from church (all mothers already), someone asked the question "What would you do if you had one day where you could do whatever you wanted?" and when it finally came to me, I honestly answered "I pretty much do whatever I want right now." Everyone responded with comments like "oh that's nice" or "that's lucky" or "enjoy it while you can" but probably they really wanted to kill me. Now I know why!
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom - but it is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done. And when you're pregnant and people with kids are telling you how hard it's going to be you really have no idea what they're talking about. You can think "hmm, so it's going to be tough. well, I can handle that." Yeah, you can, but just barely - and not without tons of help!
Luckily we did have tons of help in the first few weeks - first from my mom and then from Steve's mom and then from both of our families. That was nice. SO nice. I don't know how we would have made it through those weeks without them. Then it was time for reality. Steve went back to work and it was just me and Daphne.
Now here we are, almost 7 weeks after she was born - FINALLY just beginning to feel like we've got this breastfeeding thing down - after wanting to quit like a million times. Finally getting her to nap during the day (she would go 4-6 hours without taking a nap, one day she went 10 hours without sleeping for more than 5 minutes at a time. I thought "there's no way I can survive this, motherhood will kill me, and quickly". Then someone introduced us to "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It works. Hallelujah! She's sleeping! which is the important thing - and I didn't die! which is a nice side benefit.)
Yes, it's the hardest thing ever. But now I also understand what people say after they tell you it will be hard. "It will be worth it." Feeling like I'll never have time to myself again, and realizing how difficult it is just to leave the house, and not wanting to schedule anything because I feel like I can't depend on any kind of predictable schedule... no, it's not easy. But with one tiny smile, all those bad feelings and all the diapers and crying and 3:00AM feedings - they are totally worth it.
3 years ago
3 comments:
It's so true. It seems nice to have a break once in a while but I miss the kids when they're not around and they are what makes life worth something. Motherhood is wonderful. I knew you'd love it :)
Oh so very nervous! I only have 3 weeks left before I will begin to fully understand this post. Yikes!
Ha ha, I remember telling you how hard it was and thinking... she has no idea, I hope I'm not scaring her. I felt the same feelings that you are feeling now. It is harder than words can express. But I also remember the first few months being the hardest. I pretty much didn't take Carly anywhere and I definitely didn't think I'd ever have a life of my own again. Now every day that goes by seems like more fun and less work. Motherhood is life's greatest gift and I am so glad that you are enjoying it. Your precious angel is adorable and I can't wait to watch her grow.
P.S. I'm glad you survived!
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